Abandoned

Abandoned…
Is how I felt growing up as a child.
Watching my single mother struggle
because I had no father around.

I would act like your absence didn’t hurt me that much
So that I didn’t make my mama feel bad.
But deep down I was torn and hated your guts…
Many nights I went to bed mad.

Angry that you gave up before even trying
I was upset for a very long time.
You were a dark shadowy figure in my imagination
Until I finally erased you out of my mind.

There are times when a girl just needs her daddy
I was not able to experience that though.
And as I write this poem, tears form in my eyes
But I will not allow them to flow.

You were man enough to make a baby,
Then was only man enough to leave.
You wasn’t man enough for responsibility.
So you were never man enough for me.

Toxic relationships filled your place in my life,
Seeking the love I never got from you.
Any man’s protection felt better than none at all,
I simply missed the father I never knew.

Thank you for not being a part of my life.
You showed me what’s it’s like to not be a man.
No amount of apologies will replace the void in my heart.
Why’d you leave? I will never understand.

But I am so glad I made it without you
Thanks to my Heavenly father above.
I am no longer depressed or confused by your absence
Because He surrounds me with His love.

No Text Back

Nigga must be homeless
because I told you to text me when you got home.
Got me worried about your dusty ass
As I’m staring at this phone.

I wrote you a heartfelt paragraph
Thinking that maybe you went straight to bed
But now I’m pissed the fuck off
Because 10 minutes ago you were active on Facebook but left me on read.

Although my intuition tells me otherwise
I trust most of what you say.
There’s no need for lies, we’re too old for games
But you test my intelligence everyday.

1… 2… 3… days pass by before I hear from you.
Nigga you wasn’t sleep, you must have been dead.
I’m glad to see that you are back to life
Now, it’s my turn to leave yo’ ass on read.

Keep that same energy when you need me
And I hit you with that no text back.
When you late night creeping I’ma pretend to be sleeping
We gone see how much you like that.

I know how closely you hold that phone when we’re together
So, save the excuses for your mama.
It’s clear that you ain’t ready for a good woman
Because you are so in love with drama.

What’s the lie today?
“I fell asleep” or is it “I forgot to press send”?
“Baby, you know I don’t get service in here”
“I never got the text…please send it again”

You didn’t text back but I got your message,
You were very loud and clear.
That no text back meant fuck my feelings
That’s why today love don’t live here.