Vision 20/20

I woke up one morning
Vision more clearer than usual.
No obstructions, or sticky eye gunk
I can see as clearly as Stevie do.

Wonder what took so long
to see you weren’t worth shit?
My eyes were open wide shut
Because all the signs were there
but I still failed to see it.

I hate being blinded by love
Whatever that word means anyway…
Instead of adding value to my life
Your disruption took all the value away.

Imagine investing in someone so much
You compromise who you are.
Losing sight of all you stand for,
Just for them to fuck over your heart.

For way too long I had sight,
But I lacked clear vision.
The truth confronted me face-to-face
I just didn’t want to believe it.

You were a lying, manipulative…
King of Deceit.
Even kept a straight face
When I hit you with receipts.

I would pour into you
even when my vessel was empty.
Neglected my own needs by putting you first
just for you to in turn disrespect me.

Ate up all the lies you fed my soul…
Because my heart was hungry.
But now that reality is back in focus
I wasn’t starving… just lonely.

All you ever did was take from me…
You never did give.
Even took my kindness for granted
But that bitch Karma is real.

On the surface and to the naked eye
Your intentions appear to be pure.
But as each layer of you is exposed,
You’re about as real as faux fur.

Just as fog fills up the night sky,
Your presence clouded my judgement.
It’s crazy how niggas will look you dead in the face
And still swear they did nothing.

I would pray for perfect vision,
Now I see crystal clear.
I can see through you to the person inside of you
That you probably fear.

Too afraid to step up.
Too content to level up.
Refuse to be held accountable for your actions
Your whole thought process is fucked up.

So farewell to all the pain you caused
Come in Clarity and have a seat.
I’ve been waiting on you and you’re right on time
Truth hurts but I’m glad we get to meet.

Sis… look into the mirror
Sis please tell me what you see…
Sis reflected on all that she had lost and gained
She won by losing you,
Sis is me.

I am a phenomenal woman
Girl, wipe them tears and adjust your crown.
No more making you a priority in my life,
Or begging you to hold a girl down.

My new 2020 vision
Allows me to see straight into your heart.
Made me feel guilty for shit you’re actually guilty of
Manipulation is the devil’s art.

I thank God for opening my eyes
and exposing your soul.
Seems like you’re winning now
But it’s only a matter of time
before you reap what you sow.

Copyright © 2020 LaToya White. All Rights Reserved.

Abandoned

Abandoned…
Is how I felt growing up as a child.
Watching my single mother struggle
because I had no father around.

I would act like your absence didn’t hurt me that much
So that I didn’t make my mama feel bad.
But deep down I was torn and hated your guts…
Many nights I went to bed mad.

Angry that you gave up before even trying
I was upset for a very long time.
You were a dark shadowy figure in my imagination
Until I finally erased you out of my mind.

There are times when a girl just needs her daddy
I was not able to experience that though.
And as I write this poem, tears form in my eyes
But I will not allow them to flow.

You were man enough to make a baby,
Then was only man enough to leave.
You wasn’t man enough for responsibility.
So you were never man enough for me.

Toxic relationships filled your place in my life,
Seeking the love I never got from you.
Any man’s protection felt better than none at all,
I simply missed the father I never knew.

Thank you for not being a part of my life.
You showed me what’s it’s like to not be a man.
No amount of apologies will replace the void in my heart.
Why’d you leave? I will never understand.

But I am so glad I made it without you
Thanks to my Heavenly father above.
I am no longer depressed or confused by your absence
Because He surrounds me with His love.

No Text Back

Nigga must be homeless
because I told you to text me when you got home.
Got me worried about your dusty ass
As I’m staring at this phone.

I wrote you a heartfelt paragraph
Thinking that maybe you went straight to bed
But now I’m pissed the fuck off
Because 10 minutes ago you were active on Facebook but left me on read.

Although my intuition tells me otherwise
I trust most of what you say.
There’s no need for lies, we’re too old for games
But you test my intelligence everyday.

1… 2… 3… days pass by before I hear from you.
Nigga you wasn’t sleep, you must have been dead.
I’m glad to see that you are back to life
Now, it’s my turn to leave yo’ ass on read.

Keep that same energy when you need me
And I hit you with that no text back.
When you late night creeping I’ma pretend to be sleeping
We gone see how much you like that.

I know how closely you hold that phone when we’re together
So, save the excuses for your mama.
It’s clear that you ain’t ready for a good woman
Because you are so in love with drama.

What’s the lie today?
“I fell asleep” or is it “I forgot to press send”?
“Baby, you know I don’t get service in here”
“I never got the text…please send it again”

You didn’t text back but I got your message,
You were very loud and clear.
That no text back meant fuck my feelings
That’s why today love don’t live here.

What are you running from?

Everyone who knows me know that I am always on the go and that I have a very hard time staying in one place for too long. I can have absolutely nothing planned for the day and then all of a sudden I find myself making up things that I have to do. I enjoy being out and about…taking in the crisp smells of nature (don’t judge me)… driving while singing off key….and what’s wrong with a little retail therapy? When I am on the go, I am able to be free and don’t have to think too much about anything.

A friend asked me the other day, “Why can’t you just sit down? What is it that you are running from?” And of course my immediate response was, “I’m not running from anything” because the comment made me feel bad for being a busybody.

But I began questioning the validity of his statement when I later stumbled across a post on the ‘gram’ that read:

“Stop trying to avoid the pain. Feel it, confront it and then let it go! You will never be able to work it away, sleep it away, drink it away, or sex it away. It will never go away until you learn from it and heal from it.”

The post made me feel some type of way and had me telling myself that maybe I am running from something. But what is it? …Because if so, then I need to confront it so that I can begin the healing process.

If you were like me growing up, you talked about how you would have no worries if you ever became rich one day. But do you ever wonder why some people who seem to have everything going for themselves are not happy in their personal lives? Well, like the old saying goes, everything that glitters is not gold and sometimes people find themselves doing things to keep their mind off of their unhappiness. They overwork themselves, but all of the money in the world won’t buy them happiness. They overspend on the latest trends even though all of the clothes in the world won’t make them feel better about themselves. They engage in promiscuous activities knowing that sex is only temporary.

The truth is when I am alone with my thoughts, reality sinks in and all of the pain that I am feeling seems to come rushing in–consuming my mind all at once. Some people suffer from physical pain, and others deal with mental anguish. But what I seem to be running from is the pain that I feel when I look into the mirror and staring back at me is the cold hard truth: I am not where I want to be in life physically, spiritually or professionally. I avoid facing reality because it hurts. I shop and stay on the go to cover up the fact that I haven’t been true to myself. My truth is that sometimes I feel like a failure even though people around me feel like I have accomplished great things. I have been living up to other people’s expectations of me instead of my own. The truth is I’ve grown so content with mediocrity that anything that seems slightly challenging scares me and I stop before even get started.

Now that I have identified the source of my pain, it is time to confront it and make changes. I am making a promise to myself today to make excellence my norm! No more running from my fears or settling for being mediocre.

What are you running from in your life? Maybe you are running from happiness because you don’t feel like you deserve it. Maybe you are running from new opportunities because you are afraid of failing. Are you afraid to love again because every time you open up your heart you are left with deeply cut wounds?

If you find yourself constantly running in an attempt to avoid the pain, I am asking you to identify the issue immediately, confront it, and crush it so that you can begin to live your best life!

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Worth the Wait

I have been living that single life for oh so long
praying that one day God simply sends me the one.
A man
who has been handcrafted by the Master himself,
And not just any old measly one.


“…his heart beat is in sync to the rhythm of mine
When we connect, the world can feel our love flow.”

Every vein in his body is so intricately woven
from his head down to his toes.
And his heart beat is in sync to the rhythm of mine
When we connect, the world can feel our love flow.

He is strong enough to lead his family,
Yet gentle with his love.
I am the only woman who exists to him
To this one man, I am his world.

There are no questions or second guessing his intentions with me.
There are no stipulations attached to his heart.
He knows that cheating on me is actually cheating himself,
So cherishing me is his top priority
Yeah…That part!

He will love me when the ocean waters are at peace,
But hold me closer during winter storms.
After he has seen the best and worst versions of me,
He will choose both, because without me he’s torn.

For too long, I gave the wrong guys that “wifey treatment.”
I guess I thought that love could be taught.
Was always coming up with creative ways to please those niggas
But in their life, I was merely an afterthought.

Too many women try to make the wrong men fit
onto the perfect mural they’re painting…
Girl, trust me, being single is worth the wait.
Until God sends you that guy
who appreciates everything the others took for granted,
Take your own self out on that date.

© 2019 | @MsToyaMichelle

She is Sick & Tired…

She is sick and tired of attracting guys
who don’t understand her worth.
The kind who fill her heart up with empty lies
Because all they really want is to get up her skirt.

She is sick and tired of dealing with men
who expect her to be their mother.
Want her to cook, clean and buy him nice things
Just so that he can move on to another sucker.

She is sick and tired of men who claim to love her
As he undresses her with his eyes.
Guys who tell her what he thinks she wants to hear
So he can get in between her thighs.

She is sick and tired of meeting guys
Who have nothing to offer but hidden agendas.
They pretend to care just to win her trust
Then switch up faster than them lies could hit you.

She is sick and tired of the lying and cheating
Are most men really this full of games?
If you don’t want her, then just move around
Because the lies you tell are super lame.

She is sick and tired of you manipulative niggas
The kind who play mind games for a living.
Have her questioning herself, acting like you are the victim
Because you are a master at the art of deception.

She is sick and tired of accepting less than she deserves
Because they say her requirements are unreasonable.
Tryna give you unqualified niggas a chance
She lost faith in ever finding a real one.

© 2019 | @MsToyaMichelle