Ladies, have you ever found yourself running back to that guy that you know is not good for you because you just can’t stay away from him? …Still clinging on to that relationship when you know deep down inside he doesn’t truly love you, but you just love the way he makes you feel. He probably outright mistreats you, but you deal with it anyways because you would rather have a piece of a man, than no man at all. Or maybe you don’t actually run back to him every time but instead, you scroll through your ex’s Instagram page as you try to convince yourself that you are “so glad you’re over him…”
I have been hearing a lot about soul ties lately, and I am here to tell you that those ties are definitely real. So, this week’s post is my little spiel on the topic.
For those of you who don’t know what a soul tie is, it stems from the idea that when two people engage in sexual intercourse, their souls unite and their flesh becomes one. In a healthy marriage, when the souls of the man and woman unite during sex, positive energies are transferred and it draws the two of them closer together. However, we all know that everyone who lays down to have sex is not married and positive energies are not always transferred during the act either. I am sure that you know someone who simply has sex for fun like it’s their favorite hobby. That person could care less about drawing closer to or building a connection with the other person.
Recently, the gospel singer, Erica Campbell, posted a meme to her Instagram page that read, “Condoms will not protect you from Spiritually Transmitted Demons” causing a lot of folks to look within themselves.
“Condoms will not protect you from Spiritually Transmitted Demons.”
I know when I initially read her post, I thought about how some of us are literally sleeping with the Devil. We are falling in love with lies…and are giving in to the lusts and desires of the flesh. We are connecting with men in the most intimate way possible by giving them the goodies without requiring them to commit to us. Sex is deeper than a simple physical act–it is also an emotional and spiritual act as well. Therefore, when she went on to say that
“connection without commitment is confusing to the heart,” I felt that deep down in my soul.
I can only speak from experience and tell you my own truth. My truth is that I have connected with a guy in the past on an intimate level without requiring him to commit to me. I would engage in casual sex here and there where the only goal was to please the flesh. What I didn’t know was that an emotional bond was being created whether I wanted it or not, and I found myself wanting more from the guy even though those weren’t the original rules. Instead of feeling a sense of satisfaction, I would often feel empty, sad, used and confused. But I still went back to him hoping that he would fall in love with me if I gave him more of me. I thought about him constantly and asked myself daily what could I do to make him love me like I wanted him to. An unhealthy soul tie had been formed and this is the cycle I repeated for many years.
“God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” (1 Cor. 14:33) Even though I knew that the relationship wasn’t healthy, I could not turn off my feelings and separate myself from this guy. My feelings were telling me one thing, and my spirit was telling me something totally different. I definitely was not experiencing peace on the inside because I was not living in accordance to the will of God. Even though I knew better, I still chose to do my own thing.
Some of you are probably like me and didn’t even realize you had any unhealthy soul-ties until recently. Maybe you were left with that empty, confused feeling in certain relationships but you didn’t have a name to attach to it. Either way, it is important that these soul-ties are broken because they keep us from being able to move forward in life and in other relationships.
What are your thoughts on soul ties? Have you experienced any of your own that you struggled to get over?